Breathe
by MakatoMai
Summary: He needed a break from the vicious cycle of emotions that was in fact Jade West. He needed a break of the vicious cycle of emotions Jade evoked in him. He didn't mean for it to be three weeks. He most certainly didn't mean for it to be permanent.


Breathing Slowly

A/N: A little if Beck broke up with Jade and his perspective of it. I'm not really big on song fics, but I was reading some ones story called "SIGH" which made me think of this song- and this song inspired this one-shot and well, here goes nothing~

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_Who am I to save you? _

_To try and tame you?_

It had been three weeks since Beck had broken up with Jade. He needed space. He needed a break from the vicious cycle of emotions that was in fact Jade West. He needed a break of the vicious cycle of emotions Jade evoked in him. He didn't mean for it to be three weeks. He most certainly didn't mean for it to be permanent.

_And now that you are free of me_

_,But next time when you break down_

_,Is it me you'll take down_

_,With you on your knees?_

The first week she was relentless coming over to his RV every day, blowing up his phone every night. She had screamed at his RV and thrown rocks at the bullet proof windows (whatever she thought that might accomplish) until his parents threatened to call the police. Beck watched as she fell to her knees, pleading, black tears begging him to take her back. His heart ached so bad he thought she might be crippling him. Jade West had managed to suffocate him even at a distance. He could feel his throat tightening as he tried to get a hold of himself- where was the calm carefree Beck Oliver he thought himself to be?

_So who was I to hurt you_

_,To desert you,_

_When you needed me there,_

_So now that you've learned to hate me_

_,You're finally set free,I fall to my knees,_

The second week she didn't speak to anyone, she sat alone at lunch, she didn't participate in classes or scenes. She stayed quiet, her thoughts locked tightly in her head. She called one time that week, the voicemail she left had multiple incoherent screams and jumbled curse words, and than her voice had softened. "Beck…_please." _It was the please that broke Beck Oliver- his hand hit the RV so hard a large dent had formed. He pulled back shocked at his behavior running a tan hand through thick black messy hair, "Damn it Jade."

_And I'm breathing slowly_

_,Like you said to do when you had lost control,_

_My head spins from God's wind,_

_That carries you away from me_

_,Looks like you got away from me_

_,This time,For good..._

Beck through himself onto his bed, closing his eyes and focusing on his breathing- trying to get Jades face out of his mind. Instead a memory hits him so hard his breathing staggers and he can see her there sitting by his side brown locks forming a canopy around his face. _"Breathe." _Jade had whispered back than "_Its okay to be upset sometimes. Just breathe slowly, you can catch up with the rest of the world later." _

_And since those days have passed me by,_

_I'm in and out of life,_

_The way you used to be,_

_You know I always was the strong one,_

_But now I've come undone,Sweet Release...(come to me)_

Those three long weeks had become three long months, and Beck's days seemed to blur together. He had started dating Tori to try and ease the loneliness he felt without Jade by his side. When he grabbed her hand, she intertwined her fingers with his softly, and when he kissed her she responded as sweet and kind as she was. But at the end of the day, Beck Oliver didn't feel anything when she touched him. There was no spark, there was no life, there was no emotion. He missed being overwhelmed by Jade, at least than he was feeling something.

That's when he found the bottle.

_And I'm breathing slowly_

_,Like you said to do when you had lost control,_

_My head spins from God's wind,_

_That carries you away from me,_

_Looks like you got away from me,_

_ This time,_

_You got away from me oh yea_

_You got away for good... _

Becks demise wasn't slow or obvious, there were dark circles under his eyes now and than and alcohol oozed from his pores on more than one occasion, but it was easy to act who he was suppose to be. It was just hard to remember that at one point it didn't have to be an act.

He watched Jade from afar, and he loved her still. He loved the overbearing emotions she made him feel , how easy it was for her to let her emotions such as anger rip through her. No filter over her mouth for anyone, not even him, especially not him. He thinks about taking her into his arms sometimes, and breaking up with Tori gently. And he wont admit it- not even to himself- but he much rather feel NOTHING with Tori Vega than the overwhelming despair knowing that there was no way in the seven hells that Jade West would ever consider dating someone like him, EVER again.

So Beck holds hands gently and kisses softly. But at night he dreams of passionate kisses and forceful tugs and everything that makes up Jade West.

.Fin.

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A/N: Hope you enjoyed it. I had a lot of fun writing it. Reviews are fun. :)


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